Master of Comforts
by Pippinfan1988
Summary: Old Rory dies and Merry's father is Master of the Hall. He gives Merry responsibilities as his "assistant"...Merry gives comfort, and also receives it. A very nice story.
1. Default Chapter

****

Disclaimer: These beloved hobbit characters belong to JRR Tolkien--even the few I created in this story--they're hobbits, too, and who else invented hobbits? I only write as a hobby; and I am certainly not a medical professional, so the medical practice and advice my "healer" gives is only conducive to the story. (Eat two chocolate chip cookies and call me in the morning is always my personal advice!) 

For a little insight, Merry is 26, Pippin is 18, and Frodo is 40.... I don't write slash, but please feel free to sit down, relax and just enjoy a nice story....

Enjoy...

****

Master of Comforts

Chapter One - Ashes to Ashes

Saradoc stood at the foot of the grave pit gazing into its depths, and holding a fistful of earth. His face wore no expression as his thoughts meandered back to the days of his childhood and youth. Deep inside lay a wooden box about the size of a grown hobbit. Several feet away stood his wife, Esmeralda, all bundled up, and next to her was their own son, Merry, wearing his wool winter overcoat; hands in the pockets and collar up to ward off the frigid air. It was early December and the air was crisp and cold. Saradoc felt the first few drops of freezing rain falling upon his head, so he pulled up the hood from his cloak and then dropping the earth onto the box below, turned and walked away. The gloom of the weather befitted the gloom in his heart. It was on Friday that Old Rory had passed in his sleep. Saradoc hadn't remembered feeling so alone in his life, even as his wife and son walked at his side following the burial wagon back towards Brandy Hall. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Back inside the warm Hall, Saradoc pulled off his cloak and handed it to a waiting servant, barely pausing, and walked on towards his office followed by Merry. Merry was just a couple feet behind his father, but that was just enough time and space for Saradoc to enter his study and then shut the door hard behind him. Some years ago, Merry would have seen this act as his father not wanting anything to do with him, but these days he was undaunted. He barely hesitated enough to avoid the door hitting his nose, but then he recovered and turned the door handle, entering the office right behind his father.

Saradoc stood at the window looking out at the view of the Brandywine River and further out to the distant fields of the Marish beyond it. "Merry, I will no longer be giving you abstract lessons in the manner of being Master of the Hall." He turned, looking at his son sadly, "It seems I am now the incumbent, and you are the prospective with your own responsibilities and expected to perform your tasks from your own office." He turned to gaze out of the window once more.

Merry blinked in slight surprise, but remained where he was. "I am not here for more lessons, Dad--or to request my own office."

Saradoc fully turned to his son. "Then why are you here?"

"Just...._because_." Merry began to unbutton his coat. "Must I have a specific reason? If so, the reason is obvious to me."

Saradoc cast his eyes to the ground, "Merry, I don't want to seem ungrateful--"

"Then don't!" Merry interrupted. "Don't say what I know you're about to say."

"How do you know what I'm about to say?"

Merry draped his coat neatly over the back of the couch and sat down, "After living here on and off for the past few years, I've learned a few things; more notably what you're going to say and when."

Saradoc sighed and turned back towards the view in the window. "Then let me stagger you." He walked away from the window and sat on the couch next to Merry. "I will tell you what I am feeling now. I feel quite sad and alone right now, and I don't know what to say to anyone--apart from that, I feel nothing, and that is what frightens me. That's why I am here." He rubbed his forehead in frustration, "At least I had the comfort of a flask when your....brother died."

Merry watched as his father's eyes welled with tears. "You may not have the comfort of a flask now....but you have me."

Saradoc wiped his eyes and leaned over towards his son and embraced him. "Yes..." He said, considering in thought the enormity of forgiveness from his own son. "I have you. And I intend to never let go."

Merry smiled sadly; he remembered too well his own chaotic childhood and never having this sort of closeness with his dad. His forgiveness was truly sincere, but it was still difficult to forget at times. "Let's get out of the office, here, and take tea in the dining room with Mum. She's feeling lonely, too."

"I'm being selfish again, aren't I?" Said Saradoc. He looked about the dusty shelves of his office. "I suppose this is the last place I should allow myself to be."

Merry nodded, "Your whole family needs you, Dad."

Saradoc patted his son's hands, getting up from the couch. Both hobbits ambled out to the dining room.


	2. Memories and Memoirs

****

Chapter Two - Memories and Memoirs

Saradoc was stunned at the enormous crowd of family members having tea in the dining room. He was equally floored by the warm welcome and handshakes from the guests milling about as he made his way through the room. Merry was the one who answered the guests with warm replies in return as he continued to guide his father towards the dining area. A servant held out Saradoc's chair for him to sit at the table laden with cookies, cakes, and trays holding teapots and accouterments.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Was all his tongue could say. 

"Good afternoon." Came everyone's reply. He looked about the long dining table at all the familiar faces he knew and loved. At his left was his lovely wife, Esmeralda. Her brown tresses now mingled with silver, as were his own. Upon his right was his son, Merry, and going on down he saw his brother Merimac and nephew Berilac. Cousin Marmadas and his family, cousin Seredic and his brood. Coming back up the other side was his brother-in-law, Paladin, representing himself and an aging Thain, and with him his wife, Eglantine, their son and two of their daughters, and cousin Frodo. It was mostly a quiet affair with quiet conversation, or the elders recalling joyous or loving moments with Old Rory, and the stories were treasured by all.

After a respectable amount of time passed, the junior hobbits excused themselves one by one, each to their own activities. Merry and Frodo, joined by their Took cousins walked the garden path adjacent to the Riverbank, seeking shelter from the cold breeze inside the semi-enclosed veranda. 

The benches inside provided more than enough seating room, but Pippin continued to pace around. As the rest of the group found seats (very cold seats!) they began to catch up on news of one another.

"This is a turnabout, Merry." Pimpernel took in the sights around her. "For once, we are visiting you at your home--while you're here!" Chuckles from Merry and the group. Then she further said, "This is quite pleasant; how are you faring these days in the Hall?"

"As well as can be, I suppose." He thought more on his cousin's remark, "I've found that while I'm not perfect, neither is my dad. And guilt can be a wonderful thing!" They all laughed.

"You'll never change, Merry Brandybuck!" Said Pervinca, "You've always been a little on the naughty side."

"And you've always been right behind Pippin and I!" Laughter once more.

"I'm not naughty--I'm just slightly...._willful _at times." Pippin replied, gazing out the window.

"You needn't mimic the neighbors here, Pip!" Pimpernel chuckled. "Pippin, why won't you sit down?" Her nose was turning red from the cold; her hands still clung to each other inside her muff.

"I'm not bothering anyone, am I?" He coughed.

"No....well....yes. Your pacing around inside here is bothering me. Are you feeling well?"

Pippin felt a bit out of sorts and disliked this sort of attention, so he bored his green eyes into his elder sister's and complied.

Frodo watched the young hobbit take a seat next to Pervinca. "Your sister only cares for you, Pip." Pippin didn't reply at all.

"He's been ill recently." Said Merry. "How long have you been up from your bed, Pip?" 

"It's only been three days." Pimpernel answered, her frosty breath wafted from her lips. "He's been dreadfully ill off and on since the harvest. Father was going to ask Cousin Addie to watch over him while we were gone, but Addie came down with a cold himself. Father decided to let Pippin come along after he begged and pleaded with mother, but it seems to have worn him out."

"I am not worn out!" Pippin held his head in his hands.

"Seems rather spirited to me!" Smiled Frodo.

Pippin sighed, "I just hated being cooped up in bed for so long, and I really...." He trailed off.

"You really what?" Pervinca asked.

"Nothing." Was all he'd say.

Frodo shoved his hands in his coat pockets, "Lets say we head back to a warm fire and hot tea, eh?" Agreements from all around.


	3. Too Much Too Soon

****

Thank you, Pearl Took and Zebra Wallpaper, for your wonderful words of encouragement in all your reviews! Nothing wrong with "wonderful"...I sort of like that word myself!

Chapter Three - Too Much Too Soon

It was late in the evening as most of the overnight guests were in bed for an early start back home the next morning. Frodo decided to stay and visit with Merry a couple more days before heading back, so both he and Merry sat up until midnight sitting in front of the fireplace warming their toes, smoking pipes and chatting.

"So he's giving you an office all your own?" Frodo spoke softly, exhaling smoke into the dimly lit room. The main light came from the fireplace itself.

"That's what he told me earlier in his study."

Frodo turned to his friend, "Did he say what you would be doing with an office all your own?"

Merry shook his head, "No, he didn't say. He did say that I'd have responsibilities of my own. What they are I have yet to discover."

The silence was too long for Frodo's reply. Merry looked over to see if his friend had fallen asleep. Instead, Frodo sat very still as if concentrating on something. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Did you hear something?" Frodo crinkled his brow, trying to hear it again. Merry shook his head. "Shhh, listen!" Frodo whispered.

Merry listened carefully as the fire crackled and hissed. He looked at Frodo and shook his head again. Then he almost missed it. The sound blended well with the hissing of the burning wood. Someone was asleep nearby, breathing deeply. The sound was now very distinct. "Yes," Said Merry, "I can hear it now." 

They both got up to investigate the intruder. Together they made their way towards the back part of the room; the part that had little light. Frodo saw the figure first and pointed downward above an overstuffed chair with his finger to his lips. Merry crept over to view the slight, dark form curled up into ball, fast asleep.

Merry put his hands on his hips, "Uncle Paladin made him go to bed early! How did he get in here?"

Pippin stirred from his sleep, and coughed. "Hullo."

"That cough doesn't sound good, Pip." Frodo leaned over and felt Pippin's forehead and looked at Merry. "Warm. Hand me your pipe, cousin, and help him up to his room. I'll go and wake Paladin."

Merry helped Pippin into his bed and tucked the covers around him as he knew his uncle used to do for him when he was young and visited Whitwell often. "How did you sneak into the room without us seeing or hearing you?"

"I didn't mean to sneak; I just didn't want to upset you and Frodo, is all." Pippin held his pillow to his face as he coughed up more congestion. Pippin's face was pale in the dim light. "I wish this would stop."

Merry sat down on the bed next his best friend. "I wish it would stop, too. You look so miserable, Pip."

"I feel it, Merry." Then he added, "You know, back in the garden, I was going to say something then stopped."

"I remember." Merry said. "You said, 'And I really...' ."

Pippin held his pillow tight in case another bout of coughing started up. "I wanted to say...I really missed you, and I really wanted to see you. And I did, Merry."

"I miss you, too, Pip. And I miss your whole loony family!" He smiled.

"Well, if we're loony, you are too, for all the time you've spent with us--and don't forget your own mother's loony Took blood!" Then another coughing fit shook him as Paladin came into the room trailed by Frodo. 

He came over at once and put his hand to his son's face and brow and sighed. "Ah, Pippin."

Merry got up from his side of the bed, "I'll run and fetch the healer."

In a little while, Pippin was resting comfortably after drinking an elixir the healer made for him. She made enough for the next couple of days and gave instructions on how to administer it. She further explained that peace and quiet, and more bed rest was all Pippin really needed. Merry thanked Mistress Salinda for her help and saw her back to her own family's apartment.

"I knew I let him get up too soon." Paladin was weary, sitting dejectedly in one of the chairs in the bedroom. "I should've expected this." 

Frodo felt for his older cousin, "Pippin's not a child anymore, Paladin, so it's difficult to keep him in bed at his age. I should know--I gave my dear Uncle Saradas some trying times just like this in the past."

"The timing for this couldn't be more wrong." Paladin shook his head. He had a far away look on his face. "I left Ferumbras in the care of a hired attendant." Said Paladin. "He's becoming feeble in his old age, so I must return to mind him and his affairs. He only seems to trust me, but he realized that I had to come to Rory's burial."

Frodo watched as Paladin began to nod off; he'd done much traveling in the past couple days. "Why don't you go to bed, Paladin? Pippin looks much better and he's breathing easier now. You need your own rest before you become ill yourself."

Paladin hadn't thought of it that way. "Yes, I suppose I shall."


	4. The Comfort Zone

****

Chapter Four - The Comfort Zone

Merry had barely finished escorting his Aunt Eglantine to the dining hall for a hot cup of tea when he was summoned to the Master's office. They both had stood outside in the cold waving farewell to her family as they drove off back towards Tuckborough in the West Farthing; she was staying behind to look after Pippin until he was well, then they would take the coach back. 

Knowing where his father would be, Merry excused himself from the table and immediately went to his study. On the way there, he wondered what he was being called for. Saradoc had told him just the day before that he would receive no more theoretical lessons.

Merry stood in front of the door and straightened his shirtsleeves and vest before he knocked. "Come in."

"You called for me, Dad?"

Saradoc sat on the sofa near the bookshelves. "Yes, I did. Come here and sit down, please." He laid aside the book he was reading as Merry took the seat next to him.

"Merry, as I said yesterday, your lessons in the study of being Master are over. Today begins your first full day as my shadow, if you will." He watched his son's face for the effect of his words, but there was none; Merry's eyes were still fixed on him in a serious manner. "Your first duty is to see to the comfort of your aunt and cousins."

A slight grin played on the corner of Merry's mouth. "You're jesting?"

Saradoc gazed in return the same seriousness. "I am serious, son."

"But that's absurd. I had always intended on seeing to their comforts." Merry replied.

"Of course, you did." Answered his father. "However, now those duties are in a different light. Before, it wasn't an obligation. It will be your duty as my assistant to see to a visitor's comforts."

Merry happily sighed, "Then this shall be the easiest of tasks."

"_This time_." Said Saradoc. "Indeed, that is why I enjoyed giving you your first task. Try seeing to the whims of hobbits you don't necessarily care for."

"That's happened to you?"

"Not often, but it's happened once or twice, and it's not enjoyable in the least. So what do plan for your charges?"

"I don't know yet." Merry shrugged. "I really haven't put a lot of thought into it other than seeing that none of them are left alone for long."

Saradoc leaned forward in thought, "Dividing your time like that without a plan can be treacherous. Do you mind if I make a few suggestions?" Merry shook his head, listening intently. "Peregrin and your Auntie should be your priority. Peregrin is ill, and his mother is looking after him. Peregrin will require at least one more visit by the healer before he departs Brandy Hall. You will see to it; I don't want him leaving here sick because Mistress Salinda wasn't called, understood?" Merry nodded. "Your Aunt, although very capable of watching over her own son, she will require frequent spells of relief. Arrange a teatime for her with your Mum or one of the other ladies in the Hall. Frodo will be the most challenge. He is quite the gentle-hobbit, and old enough to see to his own wants and desires, and I daresay he is still familiar enough with Brandy Hall and it's inhabitants from when he lived here as a youth. Yet he is here specifically to visit you, and you must inform him that some of your time will be spent seeing to others as well."

"Frodo will understand."

"He may," Saradoc replied, "but you must give him explanation as to why you will be occupied elsewhere at times. You owe him that as his host." He smiled as he saw his son's expression. Merry had absorbed all that was said and looked as if he were about to explode. "Do you have all of that in your head?" Saradoc smiled, knowing his son was taking this all very seriously.

Merry sighed heavily this time, "Yes, I think so."

"Well, you may want to write some of my suggestions down on paper....in _your _office."

Merry looked up suddenly. "_My _office? Where is it?"

"In your apartment."

Merry was dumbfounded, "My--my own..._apartment_?" He held out his hand and took the keys his father handed to him.

"You're nearly a grown hobbit now, Merry." Said his father. "It's time you moved out of your parent's rooms and learn to become your own master. When you feel ready, you may remove your belongings to your own rooms."

Merry swallowed hard. "I don't know what to say."

His father patted him on the back and laughed, "Now that's a switch!"


	5. It's Mine

****

Chapter Five - It's Mine

Once again, Merry found himself knocking on a door. He was greeted by his Aunt this time.

"Hullo, Aunt Tina," He began, "I wanted to see if you needed anything, and to inquire about Pippin."

"Oh...well, thank you Merry. Such a sweet lad you are!" She opened the door wider for her nephew to enter. "Pippin is sleeping at the moment, but he's not any worse. And as for myself, I'm not needing anything, save a nice cup of tea if you please."

Merry smiled, "Very well, I will see to it. I would inform you also that I've made arrangements for Mistress Salinda, one of Brandy Hall's healers, to visit with Pippin later today."

Eglantine gazed at her nephew with wonder. "How splendid, Merry! Thank you."

Merry felt his aunt's eyes upon him. "Is there something else?"

"No. Well...yes." She answered, leaning against the doorpost. "I have vivid memories of you as a very frightened little boy visiting us at Whitwell. And the few scrapes that you got into while growing up made me unsure as to how you would turn out when you grew up--especially with the problems between you and your father." Her smile broadened. "I doubt no longer. You are a very fine young hobbit, Merry."

Merry's heart swelled with pride; that was the first time anyone, besides his dad, had noticed he was now grown up, and was apparently also well thought of as a young adult. He stepped forward and embraced the woman who had been like a second mother for him all his life. "Thank you, Auntie."

Eglantine returned his hug. "Get you going now, lad. My tea must be boiling." She said, wiping a moist eye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry rapped on yet another door. He waited a few moments before deciding no one was about inside. He turned and was several feet away from the door when it creaked open.

"Hullo, Merry. Come in!" 

"I didn't think anyone was inside." Merry accepted the invitation and found a nice soft chair nearby and plopped himself into it, then propped his feet on the stool in front of it.

"I was napping." Frodo grinned at the weariness of his host. "Tired? You look as if you need one, too."

Merry threw him a look. "I've been on my feet all morning. Don't you see them throbbing?"

"So, tell me our plans for the day." Frodo sat in the chair opposite his cousin.

"Well, _my _plans," Said Merry, "began with seeing to Pippin and my Aunt. You know she stayed behind to look after him until he is hale and strong enough to travel back home?" Frodo nodded. "I had to find Mistress Salinda away in the North Tunnel because she was giving ministrations to a little girl there. Then I ran back to the East Tunnel to inform Auntie that the healer would be visiting later on." Then he looked at Frodo, "Now I'm in the West Tunnel seeking an old friend to tell him he has to share my time with all these wonderful folks!"

Frodo smiled and then laughed, "You came all that way just to tell me that?"  
  
Merry sighed dramatically, "Yes--and to see if you would accompany me to view my new apartment!" He held aloft a silver skeleton key.

Frodo was shocked. "You have your own apartment?"

"Yes," Answered Merry, "and my own office therein."

"I'm floored, cousin! Let's go and see it!"

They were like two young boys on a scavenger hunt. Merry knew his apartment wouldn't be too far away from his parents, though distant enough to make him feel independent. Merry kept muttering under his breath, "Number five, number five....where is number five?"

"Down here!" Called Frodo from the further end of the hallway.

Merry came and surveyed the door with the number "5" written on it. He scratched his head, "Doesn't the number five come _after _number four?."

"It depends on if you like the number four or not!" Answered Frodo. "Well...being three doors away from your parents isn't so bad." Frodo chuckled.

Merry gave him a look as he inserted the key and turned it counter clockwise. He twisted the door handle and opened the door wide. Grabbing a lit candle from the hallway, he led the way inside. It was fairly empty with the exception of the bed in the bedroom, one couch in the parlor, and off in an anteroom, supposing it to be his office, there was a large desk made of walnut.

"A tad bare, don't you think?"

"But it's mine." Smiled Merry, dropping onto his couch. A plume of dust rose up and filled his nostrils. "Apparently I have lots of cleaning to do." He coughed, waving his hands about to disperse the dust.

"Now that I've seen your humble abode, shall we go look in on Pippin?"

"Yes! Let's do. I should like to tell him about apartment number 5."

The two hobbits were strolling at an easy pace towards Pippin's room with a brief stop in the kitchen larder, being that they missed lunch while they were hunting for Merry's quarters. Here Merry explained to his cousin his newly appointed duties.

As Merry spoke, Frodo was remembering many of his kin who lived in Brandy Hall, but he had been away for so long, there were some who he wasn't quite familiar with. "So, tell me, who is the little girl that's ill?"

"Salvia Goldworthy. She's the great-great-granddaughter of Salvia Bolger."

"Oh." Frodo nodded. "Is her mother Silvia Bracegirdle?" He asked.

"Yes. How did you know?"

Frodo smiled in recognition, "Many rainy afternoons we played checkers in the children's room of the North Tunnel, where my parents lived. Then I do know her--well, I mean, the girl's mother. Which Goldworthy did she marry?"

"His name is Orrin." Merry replied. Frodo nodded in recognition. "I am sorry that you now know their daughter is quite ill."

"How ill?"

Merry didn't even look up. "Bad."

After a moment of silence Frodo spoke, "Then when you're conducting your duties with your Aunt and Pippin, I shall look in on Silvia and her daughter."


	6. A Turn for the Worse

****

Chapter Six - A Turn for the Worse

Not one to intrude, but Merry had knocked twice and still no one came to the door. He quietly twisted the knob and entered. He was startled when his aunt came hurriedly into the parlor a bit winded. "Oh, Merry, I'm so glad it's you! Please come in--I'm in need of your help!"

Merry followed her into Pippin's bedroom, followed by Frodo, where the teen was still sleeping. But for some reason, alarm bells were going off in his head.

"He's burning up, lad, can you help me for a bit? Oh, hullo, Frodo." Noticing Frodo for the first time.

"Certainly, but shall I send for Mistress Salinda?" Merry was unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves.

"No, Merry. I've heard she's tending to a very sick little child, but is there another, or does Mistress Salinda have an apprentice perhaps?"

"I daresay she does; I will send for Merimas at once." Merry left to give instructions to fetch his cousin Merimas at the Goldworthy's apartments. A few minutes later he returned to find his aunt wringing a cloth in cool water and setting it on Pippin's brow. Frodo was trying unsuccessfully to unravel the quilt from Pippin. Merry decided to help him and joined in the effort.

After a few pulls and tugs Pippin woke up. "Stop." His voice full of sleep and weariness, "They're mine--" he tugged back weakly.

"Pippin, you are far too warm!" Eglantine told her son.

"No, I'm cold." Pippin was too tired to fight for his blankets, so he curled up into a ball to keep warm.

Frodo and Eglantine settled in two chairs already in the room. Merry took a wooden chair for himself from in the parlor and set it on the other side of the bed. 

Eglantine swept the hair away from her forehead, "I had to leave for a small spell--it was only a few minutes, and when I came back he was all bundled up under the covers in yet another quilt. He must have got up and grabbed every blanket in the wardrobe while I was out."

Merry didn't say anything, but inwardly he winced. He was instructed by his father to look in on his aunt frequently for just that reason.

Pippin coughed a few times. If he could curl tighter for more warmth, he'd certainly try. "I'm freezing! Why can't I have my blankets? My feet feel like ice." 

Eglantine got up and put her hand to his face and forehead, then shook her head. "You're still very, very warm, son. I'll let you have one thin blanket and no more."

A knock on the door was followed by a very haggard looking young hobbit. "Hullo! Is anybody--" Then he saw the small crowd in Pippin's bedroom. "Hullo Merry...Frodo," He nodded to Eglantine, "and hullo, Mistress Eglantine. I take it this is the young hobbit that needs seeing to?" Indicating to Pippin in the bed.

"Yes, he's only been warm most of the day until I left a little while ago. While I was out he buried himself in quilts and blankets and now complains of feeling terribly cold, even though he is very hot to the touch. He coughs every now then, too."

"Is he coughing up anything?" Merimas put his leather bag down then sat on the bed.

"Yes." Eglantine replied.

Merimas put his ear to Pippin's chest. "Breathe for me, Pip."

"I am breathing."

Merimas sat up and chuckled, "No, I mean breathe deeply several times."

"Oh." Pippin did as he was asked when Merimas put his ear back down and then went into a coughing fit.

Merimas reached under Pippin's blanket and felt his stomach, then felt his forehead. "Are you hungry, Pip? I could fry an egg on you."

"I'm not hungry for eggs."

"All right, jesting over." Smiled Merimas. "I shall need to listen to your chest again, so you need to be quiet so I can concentrate." After what seemed a few minutes, Merimas turned to Eglantine. "How long has he had this cough?"

Eglantine went into dissertation of Pippin's recent illnesses. "He acquired the cough this last time he was sick--oh, it was last week. He begged to come to Rory's burial, but after we arrived in Buckland we realized we erred. He should have stayed home to rest more."

Merimas made a face, "Well, I tend to agree with you on that, but I don't think his cough is what's causing his illness, but I think his illness is aggravating it. We will need to bring down his fever, and then continue the ministrations Mistress Salinda began last night." He turned to Merry and Frodo, "We will need to use the wash room in this tunnel, and to have a towel and blanket ready." Merry and Frodo left to find help in filling the washtub with water.

"Is it that serious?" Eglantine began to be worried.

Merimas chose his words carefully so as not to upset her more. "He's not in any danger yet, and I want to make sure it stays that way." Then he said, "When everything is ready, I would like for you to go to the dining hall and eat something. It won't do him any good if his mother isn't strong enough to sit with him thereafter." _And it won't do you any good to hear him screaming from the cold feeling of the water, he thought more to himself._

She let out a long sigh, "But the last time I left him he took a turn for the worse."

"Mistress Eglantine--"

"Please, call me Tina."

"Very well. Mistress Tina, I know I'm only an apprentice, but I've been an apprentice for nearly ten years. Trust me, all right? You need your strength as well as he needs his, and I will see to Pippin's health for now...and you must see to yours."

Eglantine nodded slowly. "I will entrust my son to you."


	7. It's My Fault

****

A/N: Baxley, you're a sweet person! I would like to thank Baxley, Zebra Wallpaper, and Pearl Took for taking the time to read this story and also review it. I can't thank you enough for your kind words and encouragement. 

The theme I wanted to come across in this story was the warmth and healing between Merry and his dad. It's not something that happens overnight (the span of time between MBD II and this story is ten years), though for some folks, they never recover from this sort of thing and stay bitter their whole life. Not so with my Merry; to me he's easy going, feels things in a deep way, yet not a bitter person. Enjoy...

Chapter Seven - It's My Fault

Merry and Frodo, with sleeves rolled up past their elbows, were hauling buckets of water to the wash room along with the three servants they could gather in such short time. Merry stopped just short of the door, put his buckets down and leaned against the wall.

"It's only a few more steps, Merry." Frodo offered.

"I'm not resting. I'm thinking."

Frodo's expression didn't agree.

"Frodo--this is all my fault."

That got his cousin's attention. Frodo put down his buckets as well. "You mean Pippin? _Your _fault? How?"

"My father instructed me this morning to look in on my aunt every so often to see if she would need some time for herself--you know."

"And?"

"I was so busy wanting to see my new quarters that I forgot. I failed in my duties and it's only my first day. My Dad and I both thought this task would be so simple." He looked at Frodo with sad eyes, "It didn't take long for me to foul this all up."

"Don't say that." Frodo replied. "Pippin was already feeling cold because he got up to get the blankets on his own, right?" Merry said nothing. "If you--or his mother--were sitting right there with him, regardless if you gave him a blanket or not, his fever was already climbing. The blankets only made it happen a bit faster."

"But I still feel responsible. They were my responsibility."

"That may be so, and you may feel responsible, my dear hobbit, but _please _don't beat yourself over it." He put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Just learn from it." Merry still looked at Frodo, unsure of his words. Frodo gently shook Merry's shoulder, "He'll be fine!"

Merry bent down to pick up the heavy buckets. "I keep thinking about Pippin and the Goldworthy girl."

"Speaking of the Goldworthy child," Frodo opened the door before picking up his second bucket, "I think I might go along with Merimas after we're finished giving Pippin his bath and visit with her."

Later, after some fighting, a bit of thrashing, and yes...yelling, Pippin was finally done with his tepid bath. It took all three lads to get him into the tub and keep him there, and it might have taken more if he weren't so weak. Pippin almost got used to the temperature of the water towards the end--but not quite. They took off his nightshirt so he wouldn't catch another chill while getting out of the water, and Merry stood waiting with a large towel to wrap him in, and the blanket on top of that until he got back to his room.

Once they had the teen settled in back in bed and resting comfortably, Merry, Frodo, and Merimas all stood together in a semi-circle deciding what they were going to do to get into dry clothes.

Merimas smoothed his wet hair behind his head with his fingers, "My room isn't far from here. Why don't you lads come along and change into some of my clothes?"

"No, thank you, Merimas." Answered Merry. "I want to sit here with Pippin until Aunt Tina returns from the dining hall. And I think Frodo wanted to go with you to the Goldworthys anyway. He knows the mother."

"But your clothes are wet! You must change soon before you catch a chill yourself."

"I'll be all right."

Merimas let out a sigh knowing his friend would be obstinate in this, and he did have to get back to help Salinda. "If I get a chance, I will look in on you later."

"Thank you, Frodo. And thank you, Merimas for seeing to Pippin."

Merry almost didn't hear his aunt enter the room. He'd almost fallen asleep as Pippin did after he calmed down; though he calmed down mostly due to Mistress Salinda's elixir from the night before. 

It had been over an hour since Merimas returned from leaving the Goldworthy's apartments. Little Salvia had died. Frodo stayed behind to give what little comfort he could to the girl's mother, Silvia.

Eglantine tiptoed past her nephew and lightly tousled his curls as she passed him by. "Your hair is damp."

"It will dry."

She paused before sitting down and patted Merry's shirt on his shoulder. "Your clothes are still damp as well. You should go and change into dry clothes."

"I will."

"Merry."

Even if he were fifty years old, Merry still wouldn't dare disobey that tone of voice from his aunt. Except now. "I cannot leave yet, Auntie."

"And when will "yet" arrive?"

"When I know that Pippin will be all right."

"I admire your love and loyalty, Merry, but Pippin will be fine while you go and change into dry clothes. You're always welcome to come back." Merry didn't stir. She looked at the clock on the wall. "It's half past seven; have you eaten supper?" Merry said nothing. "Merry, your cousin Merimas stopped to talk to me as I was returning here. We spoke for a while, and he told me about the little girl. I'm very sorry."

Merry continued to gaze at his sleeping cousin. "Frodo knows Mistress Silvia from when they were children. He's staying with the Goldworthys to help out."

"That's very kind of Mr. Frodo." She replied. She got up and went to the wardrobe, took out one of the blankets Pippin had grabbed earlier and put it over her nephew, saying, "You may as well be warm if you're going to be stubborn about it."

"Thank you, Auntie." 

Eglantine could tell he was grief-stricken, but what could she do other than sit with him? He obviously wasn't going to talk about it. She couldn't tell if he was grieving; he certainly wasn't crying. But she knew her nephew; he was holding it all in. She'd seen him do it before...a long time ago as a little boy. She sat down in her chair on the other side of the bed watching her two charges.


	8. Between Friends

****

Chapter Eight - Between Friends

Merry's eyes snapped open; something woke him, perhaps a noise? He knew he couldn't have been sleeping long; his eyelids were just as heavy as before. He looked over to where his aunt was sitting. She sat in her chair asleep with a blanket covering her. A bundle of knitting sat in her lap.

"Merry!" A hoarse whisper came from the direction of the bed. It was dark in the room with the exception of a small candle on the bureau, but Merry knew Pippin's whisper.

"What is it?" In two heartbeats, Merry quietly rose to his feet and was beside his cousin.

"I'm thirsty." Pippin rubbed his throat with his hand.

"Half a moment." Merry whispered back, then leaned over towards the bedside table where the pitcher of water sat. He filled the empty glass almost to the brim and then held it to Pippin's lips as he drank nearly the whole glass. "More?"

Pippin shook his head as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Why are you here?"

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you had important responsibilities to tend to." Answered Pippin.

Events of the past day ran through Merry's mind. "You are my important responsibility." Then he lay on the bed next to Pippin so they could hear each other whisper better. He didn't want to wake his aunt unnecessarily. "How did you know that I had responsibilities to attend to?"

"I heard you and Frodo talking about it...." Then realizing he gave himself away at feigning sleep again. "the night I got _awfully _sick."

Merry's eyes narrowed and he smirked at his best friend's constant cunning. "You were eavesdropping again, weren't you?"

Pippin felt too weak to dance around the issue. "Yes. I'm sorry, Merry. I can't help myself sometimes. Everyone talks as if I can't understand--but I do, Merry. I do understand."

"Well then I'm sorry, too."

Pippin's brow crinkled. "Why?"

"First, I shall do better at including you in mine and Frodo's conversations. But the night before last your dad sent you to bed early; so I didn't know to include you then anyway. Did that make sense?"

"Perfect sense, Mer, and I shall try to avoid eavesdropping on your conversations....as long as I'm included." He smiled. "But you said "first"; what's the second?"

Merry's smile went away. "I failed in my duties today, Pip."

Pippin saw the earnestness his friend's face. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. Was it bad?"

Merry nodded. "I failed you....and my dad."

Pippin blinked in surprise. "You're my best friend; you could never fail me, Merry."

"But I did, Pippin, and you nearly died because if it." Merry sighed deeply. "Some best friend I turned out to be." He looked on his cousin with sorrowful eyes, "I didn't look in on your Mum like I was supposed to, so she left for a bit and that's when your fever climbed. If I were here sitting with you like I was supposed to, none of that would have happened. And then little Salvia was just as sick....but she...she..." Merry's eyes glistened with tears.

Pippin watched the terrible anguish pouring from Merry's heart. "What happened?"

Merry swallowed the rising lump in his throat. "She died."

"That's terrible about Salvia." Said Pippin sadly, then added, "But sad as it is, her death wasn't your fault; no more your fault than my being sick was. You can't stop death, Merry, and my illness you couldn't control any more than my mother could. I hate to admit it, but I should have listened to my father and stayed home."

__

But it was my responsibility to be here, and I wasn't, he thought. Merry placed his hand on Pippin's forehead, "You're still a bit warm, and here I am talking your head off." He got up and tucked the covers around Pippin. "Go to sleep."

"All right, but did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, I heard." He kissed Pippin's forehead. "Go to sleep. I need to go out for a bit."

"Merry?"

"What?"

"Thanks."


	9. Not Afraid Anymore

****

Chapter Nine - Not Afraid Anymore

"Good morning, everyone." Saradoc took his seat at the head of the dining table. He, like everyone at the table was quite solemn after the news of Salvia Goldworthy. The servants brought out breakfast to the dining hall and began serving the family members and guests. "How are you feeling this morning, Master Peregrin?"

"Much better, Uncle, thank you. Merry, Frodo, and Merimas put me in a cold bath last night, and--" He stopped when he felt his mother nudge him under the table. "But they did, mother! And it was cold!"

"Ever since your fever broke this morning you've been chattering up a storm!" Said Eglantine. "You need to give your attention to your plate there in front of you."

Saradoc glanced around the table, thinking perhaps his son decided to sit elsewhere this morning, but he couldn't see him anywhere. "Has anyone seen Merry?" He saw just about everyone shake their heads, or heard them answer "no."

"I did early this morning." Pippin said, chewing on his biscuit. "He seemed a bit out of sorts." 

"Thank you, Peregrin." Saradoc took his napkin, wiped his mouth and got up saying to his wife, Esmeralda, "I think I know where to look for him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry heard the lock turning and then watched as the door creaked open. He quickly wiped his eyes and face with his shirttail and then stood to his feet. Merry observed the silhouette of his father slowly making his way into the bedroom of his very own quarters. 

"I thought I might find you here." Said Saradoc, now fully visible in the dim candlelight. He held out his hand and lifted Merry's chin. "You've been weeping."

Merry's gaze dropped. "I...I wanted to be alone."

"Merry...everyone in the Hall is saddened by Salvia's death. Why are you more so?"

Merry shrugged. "I should have been there."

This remark took Saradoc by surprise. "Been there? Why? The child's illness was a private affair with her family. She was already surrounded by her loved ones." He put his hand on his son's shoulder. "What more could you have done?"

Merry paused before he spoke. "When I heard that she died, all I could think of was Pippin. What if he died, too? I became frightened at the possibility." Then Merry went into his activities and failures of the previous day. "It would be all my fault, Dad. And...I would never be able to forgive myself if that happened." Merry wiped his face as tears streaked down his cheeks.

Saradoc sat down on his son's bed and motioned for Merry to sit down as well. "Your Auntie and Peregrin were your responsibility yesterday, yes. Would it be your fault if Peregrin perished in his illness? No." He looked at Merry, "Did you fail in your duties?" He made a face and shrugged. "That remains to be seen. Are you a failure?" Saradoc looked into his son's eyes and answered, "Absolutely not." He reached out and took Merry in his arms. After a few minutes of holding his son he continued, "Merry, you are a young hobbit lad right now. The duties I give you are only preparations for greater responsibility as you grow older...when I see you're able to accept them." He loosed Merry and smiled grimly, "You're not like the other lads here in the Hall; you are destined for greater things, Merry, and more will be demanded of you." He wiped away a tear on his son's cheek. "You have already made me proud. You put aside your own desires and sat up all night with your cousin and watched over him. That is a clear indicator of your maturing." He reached in his vest pocket for his handkerchief and gave it to Merry.

After cleaning his face, Merry leaned into his father's arms and allowed him to hold him again. "That's when I finally understood, Dad. All those times Pippin was terribly sick in bed...I always thought somehow that he would get well and then we'd be back to running about Tuckborough or Hobbiton--and he always did, even though it sometimes took a while. But the truth came to me very hard this morning. There were many times he was capable of dying just as little Salvia died in her illness....and Salvia was only four years old." Merry's eyes welled up again. "I'm selfish, Dad; I don't ever want Pippin to die. If he did, then I would, too. He's my best friend."

"I hope that never happens, either--for you or him. And I believe Peregrin won't die as long as he has a friend such as you watching over him." Saradoc held Merry as he thought of his own private hell. After a silent minute he continued, "Your own brother was much younger than Salvia. Death knows no age, gender, or kind. I learned that the hard way." He grew solemn as old memories resurfaced. "The worst thing about losing a child is that some folks, though well meaning, think you can just have another, and then the dead child's memory will fade with time and with a new child."

"Did that happen to you? Do you remember him?"

"I remember him as clear as if he were living this morning." Saradoc answered sadly. "I think that's what drove me to the brink. I was frightened that no one would remember him, and I was determined to."

"I thought you said you were afraid to love me?"

"That is true, too. Fear of loving and fear of not remembering was driving me mad."

Merry let go of his dad to clean his face again. "I don't think you're frightened of loving me anymore, are you?"

Once again, Saradoc was besieged with memories; but these memories were full of regrets in not being a father to his son during his early years. He gazed into his son's deep blue eyes, "No. I'm not afraid anymore. In fact, I can't imagine my life without you, Merry; I love you more than my own life."

Merry leaned upon his father's shoulder, and Saradoc took him into his arms. "Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me about my brother."

~The End~


End file.
